I believe in Karma. I am a pretty positive person. No matter how bad it gets, I know all will turn out well because after all I am a nice person and surely have a store somewhere of some good Karma.This has been a very rough year for me starting with New Year's Day. A day I woke up feeling that the year held so much promise and really excited for what the new year held for my husband and I. But those thoughts and plans were all squashed before even getting out of bed. More things came down the pike and I kept trying to bounce with the punches from personal life to my work life, but the punches kept coming, one knock down after the other.
Finally, in June I was hit the toughest blow of all. It appeared I may have ovarian cancer. In my ever positive mind, I didn't accept that diagnosis, I decided not to worry about it until it was proven so. No use worrying about something that might not even be there. It was when I had my surgery in July that it was proven so.
I am positive, but sometimes that doesn't change the facts. The chemo sucks, it makes me sick and my body ache and I look in the mirror and see a scary bald person. I hate the days that I am confined to bed and most of all I hate being alone, because as much as I am fighting this and it will not get the best of me, there are days that are hard, days that I am afraid. I don't like to admit that, but that's just the way it is. Yea, I know, it's the struggle that's life. Well, you can just screw that philosophy!
For several of my blogger friends this has been a tough year as well. No luck at all. So, I am calling this the year of the Pissy Piss Ant! A year biting us with bad luck. We need some better Karma! Where's all my good Karma? I want it now!
One of the seven lucky gods of Japan, the Laughing Buddha is the god of happiness, contentment, abundance, and wealth. Rubbing his big, round belly is believed to bring good luck. I need one of these. I'm not sure if his happy face would bring comfort and peace, or if it would eventually seem to be mocking..."yea, rub my belly, go ahead, keep doing it, fool!" Well, piss on you Buddha! No, I didn't really say that, that would really be bad Karma. Ommmm.
8 comments:
karma can be a bitch sometimes. I don't know what it's like to have cancer, but I know what it's like to have epilepsy...neither are anything I'd wish on anyone. Staying positive in the midst of a life altering event can be a real task. Know that my thoughts and good energy are being directed your way every single day :)
Hang in there...chemo sucks, but I've worked with those who come out on the other side of it(I used to be a nurse), and it's so worth the struggles. I promise!
Thank you Fortune Cookies. I appreicate the good thoughts and know this is something I will get through, just hating feeling my health declining when I was in such good health and playing tennis on a regular basis and now feel like I can hardly hit the darn ball...of course, I signed up for a tournament that starts tomorrow...hopefully, I will make it through, it's not about the winning this one, it's about the finishing!
There's no mistake...dealing with chemo is a tough road. I haven't had it, but I know a couple people that have. You're a tough nut and you made me laugh when I should be feeling awful for you.
Good luck with the game tomorrow. I'll be thinking of you!
I empathize with what you're going through Brenda. Ever since a close friend of mine lost her battle with breast cancer I've readjusted my view on being postive.
Sure, a positive attitude can make one stronger in the face of a major issue like chemo treatment, but in the end it still sucks and basically, you're on your own, nomatter how devoted your partner may be. It's your body, you feel the discomfort and pain.
On a personal note: although this does not compare to your ovarian cancer diagnosis, I was hit by a major cervical trauma in 2007. No more diving, lots of pain. While the pain is under control, my life has been changed quite profoundly.
2008 did not bring me much luck either, with disappearing friends and a world bent on delivering a "no, you can't" message.
Like someone from your blogroll recently said: "Let's call 2008 the Year of the Clusterfuck", an expression that might be fitting for all these unwarranted punches and setbacks.
Hold on tight.
Peter,
Antwerp, Belgium
Best wishes for the rest of this year, and THANK YOU for all the excellent good humor at potsblog!
I must say, you're pretty darn funny!
hey, comments up there have disappeared!
Well, as far as the weaver goes, there is definately something good about living creatively and using your hands.
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