Monday, December 01, 2008

Over-Whelmed and Over Achievers!

In case you haven't read the last post...I had my last Chemo Treatment! Huzzah! I have had some problems with infection and some tests that the doctor has decided to run, Renal Ultrasound, bladder scoped, and a cat scan. Most of the tests will happen mid-December just prior to Christmas.

Christmas. The thought has me totally overwhelmed. Usually this time of year I am planning the trip to go cut my tree. Yes, I cut my own tree. I have taken my Grandson since he was one (he is eight) and it's just a fun time. But this year, I know I do not have the endurance to hike the mountain to cut the tree and carry it out. Bummer.

Then there is thinking of Christmas shopping. I usually have a list and ideas, I have a big family, organization is a must. Unfortunately, I don't have a list. I don't have ideas. I think about going to the mall and doing the zombie shopping and it is so overwhelming. Knowing it will be at least one more week before I even start getting any energy back from this last chemo, I'm just not getting that warm fuzzy Christmas spirit feeling and the idea of being at the mall with last minute shoppers (who I have made fun of in the past) is way too scary. Gift cards are starting to sound like an okay idea! Gift Cards! I can't believe I would even consider it, me, the one who decided on Thanksgiving one year to make my four kids crocheted afghans for Christmas. That's FOUR afghans, figuring out exactly how many rows a night I needed to do to complete them in time. My calculations were just a little off because I actually included Christmas day as one of the days and had to do some last minute recalculations, increasing the row counts! I can handle the Christmas pressure, but I do like original type of gifts to give. But this year it just all sounds like too much stress. I'm not seeing the fun in any of it.

Then there is all the stress with Christmas cards. Such pressure. I couldn't believe I started getting Christmas cards last week! Do they want an award or what? And I thought I was an over achiever.

I love being with family, but this year it just seems too much to deal with and so, I am running away. Really! I have to use my vacation days because the college decided to close the campus over winter break and since my summer vacation was spent recovering from surgery I decided to just take a trip. A road trip! My husband thinks it sounds great. We haven't decided where to yet, maybe Santa Fe, maybe Montana, but some where, somewhere away from all the glitz and the hustle and bustle of Las Vegas. Perhaps I should bake some cookies or put up some lights. No, I know what I need! The video of a Charlie Brown's Christmas!! Or a good road atlas!

3 comments:

V-Grrrl said...

You know I like traditions too but some years they just don't work. I'm all for taking a year off from the way it's always been and working with the way it is right now for you.

Conserve your energy and shop online. Take that trip. Let someone else bake the cookies or get the tree or hang the lights--or let those expectations go.

You've had a wrenching year. Let it draw to a close in a restful, happy, peaceful way. Celebrate life, not Christmas.

Peter said...

I can only agree with the wise words posted by V-grrrl:
"Celebrate life, not Christmas" -
you deserve a peaceful time, together with your partner.

All the best from Belgium.

DebbieDoesLife said...

How are you?